(10) RANDOM QUESTIONS 07/05/2012

1. Whose the better lover, your current, your ex, or that dude you fantasize about?

2. We all have skeletons in our closet, but what does it mean when you have an entire cemetery inside of it?

3. What’s this new obsession with celebrity men arching their eyebrows?

4. How painful does “SKULL-FUCK” sound?

5. Why do people post pictures of weapons/drugs & money online?

6. Why do people post pictures
sticking their middle finger up?

7. Is it just me, or in the past (3) years have heterosexual people become more fashion conscious?

8. How much money does these “REALITY” star’s really make?

9. Why does every “REALITY” star seem to always move, or furnish a new house on their show?

10. How glad are we that Frank Ocean came out?

C A U G H T O U T T H E R E

Ok, the Monday before last, I caught a couple having sex in the parking garage. I was mortified at the fact that it was In plain view of anyone passing by, and inside of a “CRAPPY” car. When do you just let common decency go, and go in on another without a care? The two stopped and apologized about what they were doing. I thought to myself, don’t apologize to me. Apologize to her, since you stopped giving her the business in that back seat. Now, I’m no prude, but I do feel that there could’ve been a better place to do the “DIRTY-DEED”. That car was just simple “NASTY”!!!!!

What public sexual fantasy do you have and why. It’s just a fantasy, so feel free to embellish.

S E X U A L S I T U A T I O N S

Ok, after just writing about RIHANNA’s “B I R T H D A Y C A K E” song. The roving reporter “PETER PARKER” enlightened me on some new sexual positions and names, that may or may not of heard of.

Now, once he told me about them, I found that there weren’t all that new. First up we have the Italian Banker. Some of you may ask, what the fuck is the Italian Banker?

It’s a sexual position where the man is laying down, facing up. The woman is above him, also facing up. Sorta like a crab walk, just above him. She would use her hands to remain above. Apparently it’s like the Italian chandelier, which is another sexual position. Needless to say, I heard about that one and I’ve done it.

Next we have the “DIRTY SANCHEZ”. I can barely compose myself talking about this one. A dirty Sanchez is when after having anal sex. The man pulls out his penis and wipes it across his partners upper lip. As if! Some say that it’s called the “DIRTY RODRIGUEZ ” since they’re both Hispanic. It seems their easily confused and “DIRTY”. I’ve never heard about that one and I’m not eager to experience either of the two.

And moving right along, we gave the SAN DIEGO THANK YOU. Now this involves “SHIT” as well, but not so graphic. The S. D. T. Y. is when you kiss your partner on the toilet, while taking a shit. Again, I can’t keep my composure. I’m sure many people do that at the beginning of their day, especially sharing bathrooms. The S.D.T.Y isn’t as controversial as Mister Sanchez.

Last, but definitely not least. We have the “EDGE OF HEAVEN”. Now some would say, how can you have a sex position named after heaven? I say easily! Most people are calling GODS name when their doing it, at least if it’s done right. Now the E. O. H. consist of the man sitting on the edge of the bed, with his legs down on the floor. Then you shuffle into his lap and onto him, with your legs resting on the bed, while he either holds your hands to stop you tipping backwards. Now you can start moving as fast or as slowly as you want. It sounds like a lot of work to me, but some people get off on that.

Consider yourself informed, people. Sex is easy to find, but “GOOD” sex is a crap shoot! Some people need all these elaborate ways to get off. Others like myself just need the basics. But I always need my N A M E O N IT………..